June Reflections

Ultimately it’s still about healthy relationship…

For those who have been interested in HEAL and our healthy relationship work, you may have wondered why in the world I have spent so much of my time and our resources working on and writing about racism and white privilege. In fact, there have been many times over the last couple of years when I have asked myself the same question.

If my passion and purpose are to promote healthy relationship, then why am I spending so much of my time doing what to some might appear as work around unrelated issues. The answer is simple…working on white privilege, diversity, multiculturalism, and racism or any of the ‘isms’ ultimately is about healing old wounds and ‘less than-ness’ and creating healthy relationship.
Discrimination, racism, and unearned privilege are just other old examples of how unhealthy relationships exist in our group, cultural, social, and international relationships. There are many different names for these behaviors but at the core they are each about less than loving nurturing relationship choices between people that have the potential to create deep, lasting physical, mental, emotional, or spiritual harm.

These unhealthy behaviors are examples of just some of the old and new ways we find to separate and diminish ourselves and others by maintaining or expanding systematic, socialized, institutionalized, or other established patterns of unhealthy behavior. Equality and a reduction or elimination of hierarchy, are essential to promoting healthy relationship. Any choices we make to treat someone in less than loving and nurturing ways based on gender, skin color, economic factors, age, sexual orientation or other differences is to engage in behaviors that corrupt and undermine healthy relationship.

More awareness of each of these areas as old, even ancient, problems or examples of unhealthy relationship, is the beginning of their undoing. Like our other healthy relationship ‘practices’, we can choose to take on an intention and determination to better understand and counteract old less healthy choices with new more healthy choices. We can then be open to feedback on the impact and usefulness of our new choices and adjust and learn from our failures and successes. Much more on what these ‘practices’ are in future writings.

Have a good June.

Gratefully Seeking Harmony,
Stephan

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