October Reflections

Transformative Processes
Re Evaluation Counseling (RC)

Hope all of you are having a blessing-filled, prosperous fall. The weather has finally started to turn and soon the leaves will begin falling. I just spent a beautiful and wonderful weekend at St. Columba, the Episcopal retreat center just outside Memphis, doing an RC fundamentals retreat.

After working my buns off for the last several weeks, every fiber of my tired body told me I did not need to go to this workshop. Remembering Paul Ferrini’s words about “resisting the lessons I need to learn the most” and my positive experiences with the folks from this group at WPC 9 & 10, I drove myself out to St. C. early Friday evening.

My primary motivation to attend was my long-term friendship with Randy Gamble, who has benefited tremendously from his practice of RC, and my relatively new and healing connection with Barbara Love, a longtime RC practitioner and leader. Barbara is, in my perception, one of the most loving spirits I have encountered and followed on my life journey so far. Rarely am I led astray when I trust people with whom I have worked to do healing work and form healthy relationships. My trust in these people and the process proved to be well placed.

For me, RC fits into a broader menu of Transformative Processes that range from 12-step work like AA and Al Anon to Restorative Justice. Simply stated, RC is a form of co-counseling in which two or more people engage in an exchange of compassionate listening. Each takes a turn being the “counselor” and then the “client” to create a safe, nonjudgmental space for each to allow the discharge, release, of distress, unhealed emotional wounds. The intention is to listen supportively with only a minimum of guiding commentary intended to promote the discharge, the experiencing of our feelings, and to remind the client that all beings, including the client, are inherently capable, competent, and good no matter our past behaviors.

My RC experience turned out to be rewarding beyond my initial resistance and even exceeded my most positive expectations. What I found myself surrounded by is one of the most authentic, congruent, diverse, and loving communities I have experienced in my life to date. The RC Community is one in which love and feelings are placed above almost all other aspects of human relationship.

My hope is to write more about this unique and valuable process. We are adding it to the growing menu of HEAL supported activities that are already creating healthy relationship in the world. Our belief is that these unique models, philosophies and practices can help and serve people looking to invite these ways of living and loving in their lives.

If you want to check out RC and see Barbara Love, she will be in Memphis speaking and presenting at the 2009 Gandhi King Conference later this month on October 23, 24, and 25th. There will be several introductory workshops to the RC process. Hope to see some of you at these powerful upcoming events.

Gratefully Seeking Harmony,
Stephan